It Wasn't Enough Chap:14

As soon as I step out of the clinic into the cold air, I take a refreshing deep breath which helps relieve my tense stance.
I go to take a step forward and make my way home, but the dizziness overpowers me; so instead I am forced to grip the wall and slide down to the floor. This is most defiantly a day I don't want to go through again. Thinking to myself, there's only one question that swarms my mind: have I made the right choice?

I'm just a kid, but I know that going through months of pregnancy for the end point to be holding a baby in my arms would be amazing; maybe the greatest feeling in the world. I can do that later though…when I'm ready. I don't want to think about it anymore, I feel in no frame of mind to. Instead I sit and watch the life around me unfold, letting my mind rest from its racing state.

"Kyle…Kyle!" Jerking my head to the source of the sound, I'm welcome to the sight of Stan rushing towards me, but then I frown…as Cartman following not too far behind enters my eyesight. "What are you doing?" Stan asks in a panicked tone when he reaches me. All I can do is look up at him as he starts to pace in front of me, gripping his black hair. "I can't believe you actually went through with it. That's a life you've just got rid of Kyle! How could you be so selfish?" He stops to look over a Cartman before pointed a finger at him, "and you. If only you could be more mature and not think every little thing is about you!" I have nothing to say, I'm too stunned at the way Stan is lashing out, it's so…irregular, he's normally the calm one in our small group. Although the tone used with me was teeming with disappointment, compared to the intense anger with Cartman, I'm so wounded. Haven't I suffered enough?

"Don't put this blame on me Stan, I came here with you didn't I? It's not my fault the Jew was in such a hurry to get rid of it."

"But it is your fault; if you'd just listened to him we wouldn't be in this situation!"

"I didn't want to be a fucking father! If anything I'm glad he went through with the abortion."

Whereas Stan doesn't say anything to this, I start to laugh. I laugh at their pointless argument, and laugh at Cartman's statement of not wanting to be a father because "I didn't go through with the abortion." I giggle up at them as they stare in shock down at me. As I slowly remove myself from the floor and back into a standing position, Cartman manages to stutter out a 'what?' "You heard me," I tell him smirking smugly, "I didn't go through with abortion. Couldn't. I'm not going to kill my baby. Whether you want it or not, I'm going to have our child, with or without your acceptance." With that I brush past the unsettled father of my still growing baby, and make my way back home with my head held high and Stan shortly following by my side.
"I'm proud of you Kyle," he smiles, "I know you can do this without him." I can only hope so, though I can't deny how much I want to do this with him. But the love for my unborn baby out rules the need for him now.